Perfect Pitch: Kate Fussner's Query Letter for The Song of Us
So, it’s been a minute since I had one of these query letters to showcase!
It’s not because there haven’t been new books sold and out and about since 2021 when I did the last post (James Tate Hill’s for his memoir), it’s that a lot of recent projects have been books from clients I’ve been working with for a while, or non-fiction projects I put together alongside the authors.
So there haven’t been queries for those. You can see the proposals for some of them (like Magic Fight Items and Gamer Girls, by Aidan Moher and Mary Kenney) though.
I’ll have some new queries to showcase soon, I promise! For now, let’s dig into the pitch for Kate Fussner’s absolutely stunning Middle Grade in verse, THE SONG OF US, which publishes this month. If this helps you on your querying journey, I encourage you to thank Kate by preordering her book via your favorite retailer, or request it at your local library.
Let’s jump in, and see what you can learn from this successful query letter:
Dear Eric Smith,
O&E is a queer novel-in-verse adaptation of the tragic Greek myth “Orpheus and Eurydice.” A story of two middle school heroines learning to love themselves when they lose each other, O&E is the lyrical poetry of Sonya Sones’ WHAT MY MOTHER DOESN’T KNOW meets the journey to self-acceptance of Ashley Herring Blake’s IVY ABERDEEN’S LETTER TO THE WORLD. It is 16,000 words of first kisses, love poetry for sale, understanding mental health, and one very dramatic school dance.
Impetuous seventh grade poet Olivia knows her words never fail her; that is, until she impulsively breaks up with her first girlfriend, Eden. Full of self-doubt caused by her homophobic father and her heartbreak, closeted Eden sets out on an Underworld-like journey to find herself with a new group of risk-taking friends. Meanwhile Olivia plots to win Eden back by planning a Poetry Night that will end in a sweeping romantic apology. But when the cost of the event drives Olivia into a complicated money-making scheme that lands her in deep trouble, Olivia is forced to make promises to the principal that ultimately out Eden to her father, destroy their relationship, and separate the young sweethearts forever.
I am sending you my work because of your interest in middle grade novels and #ownvoices work. In addition, as a woman who was born and raised in the Philadelphia area, I can’t help but appreciate your great taste in cities. As for me, I teach high school English, am currently earning my MFA in Creative Writing for Young People at Lesley University (anticipated graduation: June 2021), and spend time with my wife and our cocker spaniel mix, Mrs. Weasley. My personal essays have appeared in The Boston Globe, WBUR’s Cognoscenti, and elsewhere. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
All my best,
Kate Fussner
One immediate takeaway you might have caught here is the title.
So, I tell this to folks all the time… but don’t get too attached to your book titles. They often change, from the stage with your agent to your editor to the sales team… the list goes on, of folks that sign off on a title working for one reason or another. You can see this in queries for Road Out of Winter by Alison Stine and Rise of the Red Hand by Olivia Chadha. Kate and her brilliant editor (hi Sara!) came to this title as a team. The likelihood of you landing on a title you hate is so slim. Your team wants you to have a title you’re happy with.
There’s so much about this query letter that works so well, and grabbed me out of the gate.
For one, look at that opening hook:
O&E is a queer novel-in-verse adaptation of the tragic Greek myth “Orpheus and Eurydice.” A story of two middle school heroines learning to love themselves when they lose each other, O&E is the lyrical poetry of Sonya Sones’ WHAT MY MOTHER DOESN’T KNOW meets the journey to self-acceptance of Ashley Herring Blake’s IVY ABERDEEN’S LETTER TO THE WORLD. It is 16,000 words of first kisses, love poetry for sale, understanding mental health, and one very dramatic school dance.
Right away, I’m hit with so much of what I need to know whether or not this book is right for me. Kate gets right to it. We have excellent comp titles here, we get a quick blip about the story, we get grounded in the category, the genre. She works in what it’s a retelling of. We’ve got a word count, themes. The hook totals in at just THREE SENTENCES. It’s masterful.
Hooks are so important in a good query letter. So many editors and agents are on the go, reading queries when they can, scrambling to catch up. A hook has the potential to grab them right away.
Further into the query, Kate digs into the plot of the book in one spectacular paragraph, though please note, it’s very okay to write a bit more about your plot here. I often see writers trying to squeeze their story into that singular paragraph, when if you look at most jacket copy, it’s a good two or three paragraphs giving readers the plot. Don’t be afraid to say a little more.
I also want to call attention to Kate’s bio here:
As for me, I teach high school English, am currently earning my MFA in Creative Writing for Young People at Lesley University (anticipated graduation: June 2021), and spend time with my wife and our cocker spaniel mix, Mrs. Weasley. My personal essays have appeared in The Boston Globe, WBUR’s Cognoscenti, and elsewhere. This is my first novel.
I often hear from writers that they are worried about their bio not being focused on publications, like books and the like, as this is their first novel. Kate’s is a great example of how to do that as a debut. She talks about her job, what she’s been doing with school, spending time with her wife and pup. And then she talks about her personal essays, which while they might not have to do with writing Middle Grade, show buy-in for her work.
A favorite example of this is in Mike Chen’s query letter, where he talks about the journalism he did in the hockey world. Did that have to do with writing adult sci-fi? Nope. But it showed interest in his writing. Dish that stuff.
An additional bit of advice here outside of the query though?
I get asked a lot about nudging and following up with agents. First, always check submission guidelines, there might be some details in there that’ll let you know what’s appropriate with that agent. With me, I encourage nudges. A quick followup. A brief email to say “hey just checking in to see if you were able to read this” and the like.
Kate was one of those nudges.
I had actually missed her initial query, and when she checked in and it bounced back up to the top of my inbox, I gasped. This was my kind of book! What happened! How did I miss this? I dug in immediately.
Please. Don’t be afraid to nudge, dear writer friends. Agents spend SO MUCH TIME nudging editors about projects. We are used to a nudge. Don’t overthink it. The worst thing that happens, is that the project wasn’t a good fit and that’s why they didn’t respond.
The best case? They missed it, want to read it, and then your debut novel is due out a few years later. You never know.
I hope this was helpful! And please, preorder Kate’s beautiful book.