Perfect Pitch: Olivia Chadha's Query for Rise of the Red Hand!
It’s that time!
I’m so excited to be sharing Olivia Chadha’s original query letter for Rise of the Red Hand, which publishes in January with Erewhon Books! As always, if you find this query letter helpful, PLEASE preorder (or order, depending on when you’re reading this) Olivia’s stunning novel.
Olivia is a #DVpit success story (if you don’t know about Beth Phelan’s amazing Twitter event, check out the website here and get your Twitter pitch ready!), and from the VERY TWEET I knew I was going to want this book terribly.
Here. Just look at this perfection. There’s a lesson to be learned in Twitter pitching from this.
I slammed fav on that tweet, read the book immediately, and the rest as they say, is history.
Olivia’s query did something that’s so important when it comes to Twitter pitch events… it followed up on the promise of that tweet. Her tweet promised a sci-fi thrill ride with cyborgs and mechs, and goodness did it deliver. Not just in the actual book, but in the longer pitch below.
And it’s also worth noting that she’d queried me just two weeks prior to DVpit! I wasn’t quite caught up on queries at the time, and this got it right to the top of my inbox, that’s for sure.
Let’s jump in to Olivia’s query here, and see what you can learn. And again, if you find this helpful, order the gorgeous book!
Dear Eric:
I’m writing to you because of your #MSWL tweet about wanting to see more brown people in sci-fi. Perhaps my novel A GIRL WITHOUT will interest you. It’s an accessible YA sci-fi thriller set in a locale based on a future Mumbai, and would appeal to fans of Marie Lu, Cindy Pon, Marissa Meyer, and Axie Oh.
212 N.E., South Asian Province - Ashiva’s world is divided into those who will survive, and those who didn’t make the cut. Uplanders and Downlanders, those with freewill and those implanted with a neural-synch. Heat and disease have made it impossible to save the entire subcontinent. Most of the population has succumbed to rising sea levels. Because rations are in short supply, the Ministers of the Central District in the S.A. District relinquish control to a program, Solace, to make the hardest decisions. Solace’s algorithms decide who will live inside the city and who will be left to fend for themselves in the Unsanctioned Territories.
Ashiva is a cyborg smuggler who works for the Laal Haath, the Red Hand, a gang of revolutionaries. Her most important parcels are children discarded from the Uplanders. Kids who didn’t pass the tests, children like her. With her mentor and savior, Masiji, she helps rebuild them, care for them. Ashiva’s world turns upside down when her shanty town is emptied for the Fifth Pandemic by armed guardians who take all of the children to an off-site containment facility. Alone and desperate, Ashiva must work with a person she hates the most, an Uplander boy named Riz-Ali, to hack Solace and fight to free her family before it’s too late.
The novel is approximately 60,000 words and will be the first in a duology or a trilogy. I received a Ph.D. from Binghamton University’s creative writing program, and am an instructor at CU Boulder where I teach writing, graphic memoir, and mythology and fairy tales. I began my writing career with a stint in Los Angeles writing comic book scripts for Fathom Comics. BALANCE OF FRAGILE THINGS is my first novel, and some of my other works have appeared in Pinyon, Damselfly Press, and Every Day Fiction. I am an active member of SCBWI. I am first generation Punjabi Sikh/Latvian.
If A GIRL WITHOUT appeals to you, I’d be thrilled to send you the novel.
Thanks for your time.
Best,
Olivia
Goodness, do I love this query. Let’s breakdown the things here that really work.
Comps and Authors: So, instead of focusing the query letter’s comparative notes on specific books, she focused on authors. Which I love. I’m not generally drawn to comps that say “my book is just like this other book.” Instead, dishing authors who write expansive sci-fi packed full of world building, who also happen to be some of my favorites, was the right approach here.
Personal Hook: Her note there about how I was looking for my sci-fi with brown people in it? That’s something I harp about on social media all the time. When you can make a personal connection while pitching, go for it. You can’t always, not all agents are all over social media or have huge detailed bios, but the ones that do? Make that connection, if you can.
World Building in the Pitch: This is such a hard thing to do when you’re writing a SFF novel. How much world building do you dish? How much is too much? Olivia balances it out perfectly here, giving me just enough of the surface elements that I wasn’t left with a million questions… but not leaving out everything. I need to understand the world the characters are in.
The Stakes: When I read a query, I’m looking for the stakes a characters can’t walk away from. She details them super clearly here.
Series Potential: Olivia had a pretty clear vision for this book either as a duology or a trilogy… and it had to be a series. The story was too big for just the first book. And she came out of the gate saying just that, which I appreciated. I know there’s a lot of advice about a book having “series potential” instead of just flat out being a series. But if you know your book is going to be two or three novels… I’m a fan of saying it.
The Things Left Out: I feel like this is also worth noting… Rise of the Red Hand is a shifting POV book. There are a few other characters who we jump around too, not just Ashiva. But here’s the thing. If the query letter dished every single character’s POV, every single character’s stakes and missions… it would be impossibly long.
Instead, Olivia stuck to the heart of the story. This is what most novels with big shifting POV casts do, sometimes just giving a sentence nod to other voices. Don’t feel like you need to bullet point describe every single character. Give us that main story.
And there you have it. Perfect pitch.
And again, if you find this helpful, order the gorgeous book!