Photo via Blue Realm Studios
This year started out rough.
At the end of January, I suddenly found myself on a train back to Philadelphia from upstate New York, carrying with me an engagement ring that I no longer had a finger for. I was fortunate enough to have a ton of amazing friends eagerly awaiting my arrival back home. Some insisted on picking me up at the train station in Albany, others stayed up with me on Gchat until 6am as I sat alone for 12 hours, waiting for my train home. This good luck aside, I was unlucky enough to be stuck with an expensive piece of jewelry I did not want.
It was hard to get rid of.
Not for any emotional reasons… though that certainly played a part the first month or so. I’ll be honest, I tortured myself a bit, staring at that little black velvet box. However as time passed, my detachment to the ring was such that I could have happily, to quote the great Hermes Conrad, placed “the little bastard in a sack, tossed the sack in a river, and hurled the river into space.” I just wanted to sell the damn thing, and get close to what I paid for it.
I spent most of the Spring and Summer lying, telling friends and family that the ring was gone, that I moved on, that it wasn’t actually in my closet in my apartment. I’d love to apologize to all of you for that, but I won’t. Because you understand. But good news, everyone! As of a few weeks ago, I can finally stop fibbing. Because the ring actually is gone. And, mission accomplished, I got close to what I paid for it. And I really needed that exact amount of cash…
So I could spend the money on a custom suit of Master Chief armor.*
Don’t judge. It’s something I’ve always wanted. Ever since I saw my first suit at Philadelphia’s Wizard World (pictured here with Joystiq’s Benjamin Gilbert) in 2008, I’ve been smitten with the idea. One of my best friends, the co-founder of Geekadelphia and cover artist for Textual Healing, Tim Quirino, is known for his awesome Shadow Stormtrooper armor.
From volunteering at the Children’s Hospital to running around with chainsaws, he has a blast with that outfit. I’ve ranted to him for the better part of two years, how I wanted my own suit of armor. He dealt with more gchats and emails than I’d like to recall, featuring me sending links and rambling ideas about my future Master Chief armor. Thank you for always humoring me, Tim.
I always viewed the Chief as a sort of modern Beowulf character. Strong, powerful, needed by many, and ultimately (spoiler alert) doomed. As a literary and video gaming nerd, he’s always been the perfect protagonist. So why wouldn’t I want to dress up like this guy?
I found an unbelievably talented artist via Etsy’s Alchemy, who I’ve commissioned to build the suit. If all goes according to plan, I’ll have the outfit by the end of November / early December. Can’t wait to dress up at the Chief and wander Old City, maybe take a horse and carriage ride, shop for groceries at Trader Joe’s, and make my pal Marisa take all the photos. She has no idea she’s being commissioned to do this, but when she gets the trackback from this post, she’ll know.
Photo via Blue Realm Studios
My friends have quipped that most people put up emotional armor after an emotionally jarring experience, and hide themselves away from connecting with other people. And unlike these people, I’m buying PHYSICAL armor, which is truly f*cked up. Listen. The irony isn’t lost on me, friends. And I’m not hiding from anyone.
I could have just blown the money on something silly, like paying student loans off. Instead, I’m getting something I’ve always wanted.
Now… to find a gal who is willing to dress up as Cortana.
* Note: Okay, I’m not THAT crazy. I also spent some of the funds on a trip to Ireland. I’ll be spending New Year’s Eve in Dublin with a few good friends. I’ll probably tell ladies that I own a suit of Master Chief armor, and consequently, get every single God damn one of ‘em.
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I take these references to Futurama and marriage as a convoluted engagement propsal, to which I say, no, I cannot take you from the lovely women of Philadelphia and beyond.
Little do you know, I’m building you a Warthog.
Oh my god, yes! I would never miss out on an opportunity to capture that.
This will be done just in time for Thanksgiving/Christmas, which is great since my father has just decreed that everyone must now wear armor on these holidays due to your purchase.
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