When the movie Good Luck Chuck came out, and consequently swept the Oscars with multiple wins, I heard about it from various friends across the country. Everyone, after seeing this piece of cinematic garbage, couldn’t resist the urge to call me and give me the great news. That a movie, practically based on my life, had been released.

The movie tells a story of Chuck, who, after women sleep with him, they find their one true love. Thanks everyone, for helping me making this connection to my real life, since every single one of my ex-girlfriends, even ones I didn’t sleep with, are now either engaged or married… to the guy they immediately dated after me.

Hard to believe? Check this fact out. (#1) When I was 15, after we broke up, my very first girlfriend met her life partner. You heard me. She’s a lesbian. I guess I was a bad kisser? Hahah… LOL… hee-hee… *sobs hysterically into hands*

I couldn’t help but think about this today, as I uploaded this new photo gallery onto Flickr. (#2) It’s of Steph, one of my ex-girlfriend’s from my days at Ramapo, and her wedding to one of my best friends, Glen. I know that sounds weird, but there’s a complicated back-story to the whole thing. I didn’t know Glen until he and Steph got back together when we had broken up, and once he transfered to my college, we became inseparable. I was a groomsman at the wedding.

I got Steph a sword for her wedding present. Glen and I told her to try it on. It was awesome.

They’re both visiting me here in Philly this weekend. And no Glen, you can’t have sex on my couch. Stop saying that you’re going to do that.

I’m heading to (#3) Christina’s wedding in June, a girl who I dated for quite a while at Ramapo, where I will undoubtably take photos that are better than the hired wedding photographer’s. Despite a break-up and an attempt at friendship full of turmoil and fights, we became friends again, and chit-chat on AIM regularlly. And I’m happy about that.

However, it’s important to note that this little curse isn’t limited strictly to Ramapo. (#4) The psycho girl who I dated at Kean, who everyone hated and made fun of, who thought Linkin Park counted as punk rock (shut up Tim), is getting married to the guy she started dating immediately after I broke up with her in a memorable and devastating way. What can I say, I’m old fashioned.

This of course, brings us to now. Heather and I are together, insanely happy, and I love her something terrible. Heather, you’re not allowed to break-up with me. My heart couldn’t handle seeing you with anyone else. Not even Brian.

Seriously, why is my life a movie?